Kids in school certainly have learned the way of the classroom ever since the days of yore. And why not? They must endure the torture of lessons day in and day out. Nothing like a good screeching prank to liven things up a bit.
“OK, when the substitute walks in, everybody drag your nails down the board!”
Image courtesy of http://history.icanhascheezburger.com/2011/08/30/funny-pictures-history-hellions/.
Best knock-out punch from this wiry cig when lit through an electrical outlet.
For thrilllllllllllllllllllllll seekers.
“My Drug of Choice.”
Image courtesy of http://imgur.com/fwTny.
Joke of the day.
Expanding definitions. Hat tip, Proud Military Mom.
The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.
We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.
However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.
Now consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?
Believe it or not ……. a Congress!
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Multitasking. An art mothers refine. Daily. Without a second thought.
Breastfeeding driver shocks New Zealand commuters. News.com.au.
A NEW Zealand woman has shocked fellow drivers by breastfeeding a baby at the wheel of a moving car with three young children in the back seat.
Regarding the on-demand performance.
“If you’ve got a screaming baby, I can imagine the temptation, but I mean, really.”
The mother has yet to be found. She is effortlessly juggling a rambunctious household. Breastfeeding and driving are so elementary.
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A father and daughter who over time seem to have diverged, have a chat about what is fair and what is not. Also at the Gold Coast Chronicle.
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listened and then asked, “How is your friend Audrey doing?” She replied, “Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She’s always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn’t even show up for classes because she’s too hung over.”
Her wise father asked his daughter, “Why don’t you go to the Dean’s office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.”
The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily fired back, “That’s a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I’ve worked really hard for my grades! I’ve invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!”
The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, “Welcome to the conservative side of the fence.”
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From crematorium to bullet repackaging, Cremate your loved ones then pack them into Bullets, Web of Entertainment says.
Celebrating Life. That is how Holy Smoke sees it. And they mean business. Respectfully and compassionately, of course. For the love of guns may be so strong in some, there is a way to shoot through a final course on mortal grounds, with bullet-fast final speed.
For $1,250, they’ll cram one pound of incinerated leftovers of your dead loved one into a nice load of ammo… 250 shotgun shells, 100 rifle cartridges, or 250 pistol cartridges.
Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. And to earth you shall return. Maybe literally through a double barrel shotgun. Then figuratively smokin’ all the way to the high heavens. Reverently, of course.
Image courtesy of http://www.myholysmoke.com/.
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Canine handy helpers. Always there to render aid to their family or other assorted humans in their lives.
Extra points for service to remote outhouses.
“Sometimes I walk to the store. Posie gets pissed if she can’t help. Seriously.”
Image courtesy of http://imgur.com/gallery/KQC1K.
Pants-on-the-ground beer thief finally caught. WTSP W10. Winterhavem, Florida.
Graceful. Enough to make any mother proud cringe.
May 1, 2011
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Cleanliness is next to Godliness.
Life jackets for the tiny ones.
July 17, 2009
FUNNY QUOTES OF THE DAY This Day in History
Applause! Applause!
Tricorn hats are the rage
Click Horsey for William Tell Overture
Stress Reduction Kit. Bang Head Here.
