Plans For 83 Days

Now here is another way of looking at how Barack Obama may plan out his first 83 days in office.  Never mind the “First 100 Days” yardstick that many use to measure up to in the Oval Office.    

Kevin Horrigan at the St. Louis Post-Dispatch brings us The first 83 days.

And here is a good start to this searingly satirical piece, and of course, the envisioned initial 83 day legacy of Obama’s White House legacy.  Let the image and the video kick it off. 


“Barack Obama joins Sen. Bob Casey, D-Pa, for a few frames at Pleasant Valley Bowling Center in Altoona, Pa. Obama, who rolled a few gutter balls, said he hadn’t bowled since he was 16.  April 1, 2008.”
Image courtesy of http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=3982694n. 

Every new president tries to emulate Franklin D. Roosevelt’s famous “100 Days” strategy of 1933 with a blitz of new initiatives, but Barack Obama is so special he’ll need only 83.

Based on in-depth research — via right-wing websites — here’s Obama’s agenda

between Inauguration Day and Easter Sunday.

Jan. 20: Deliver Inaugural Address (in Farsi) on YouTube.

Jan. 21: Redecorate Oval Office as cave.

Jan. 22: Get fitted for turban (Barack).

Jan. 23: Get fitted for burkha (Michelle & girls).

Jan. 24: Name new puppy: Roe-ver Siswade.

Jan. 25: Veggie Monday.

Jan. 26: Bill Ayers Medal of Freedom ceremony.

Jan. 27: Enroll girls in madrassa.

Jan. 28: Poison water supplies (red states).

Jan. 29: Ahmadinejad state dinner.

Jan. 30: Redistribute wealth.

Jan. 31: Nuke Wasilla.

Feb. 1: Hugo Chavez @ Camp David.

Feb. 2: Outlaw fur.

Feb. 3: Repeal Second Amendment.

Feb. 4: Talk-Like-A-Kenyan Day.

Feb. 5: Dick Cheney? Two words: extraordinary rendition.

Feb. 6: Rumsfeld trial begins at The Hague.

Feb. 7: Soak rich.

Feb. 8: Soak middle class.

Feb. 9: Declare basketball national pastime.

Feb. 10: Arugula: It’s what’s for dinner.

Feb. 11: Tim Robbins Film Festival.

Feb. 12: Washington Monument renamed for Harold Washington.

Feb. 13: Replace Gideon Bibles with Korans.

Feb. 14: Jeremiah Wright Crusade at Yankee Stadium.

Feb. 15: Outlaw snow machines.

Feb. 16: Redeploy troops from Iraq to Texas.

Feb. 17: National Flag-burning Day.

Feb. 18: Date w/Barney Frank.

Feb. 19: Mandatory sex education in utero.

Feb. 20: Declare Karl Marx Holiday.

Feb. 21: Have IRS audit Joe the Plumber.

Feb. 22: Name Rashid Khalidi America’s ambassador to the U.N.

Feb. 23: Tell FBI to make sure Sarah Palin returned clothes.

Feb. 24: Hunt down bin Laden for Medal of Freedom.

Feb. 25: Ash Wednesday; Spring Ramadan begins.

Feb. 26: Chicago White Sox: America’s Team.

Feb. 27: Pardon Tony Rezko.

Feb. 28: Pardon Rod Blagojevich.

March 1: Pardon Al Capone.

March 2: Run-Down-America Day.

March 3: Donate fake birth certificate to National Archives.

March 4: Raise taxes.

March 5: Destroy incentives.

March 6: Get Alito to resign, replace w/ Hillary Clinton.

March 7: Get Scalia to resign, replace w/ Bill Clinton.

March 8: Get Roberts to resign, replace w/ Chelsea Clinton.

March 9: Replace Pledge of Allegiance with Fist Bump of Allegiance.

March 10: Annex Mexico. Presto! No more illegal immigrants.

March 11: Redistribute Mexico’s wealth.

March 12: Mother’s Day, out. Baby Mama’s Day, in.

March 13: Deport Toby Keith.

March 14: National Prayer (Rug) Breakfast.

March 15: Declare self as Anti-Christ.

March 16: Give Sarah Palin a much closer view of Russia.

March 17: Mock St. Patrick.

March 18: Put McCain on ice floe.

March 19: Nationalize oil companies.

March 20: Nationalize Google.

March 21: Outlaw NASCAR.

March 22: Work on jump shot.

March 23: Declare caribou an endangered species.

March 24: Redistribute more wealth.

March 25: Legalize gay marriage.

March 26: Legalize transgender marriage.

March 27: Replace “E pluribus unum” with just plain “unum.”

March 28: Ban bowling.

March 29: Create National Leftist Militia.

March 30: Betray Israel.

March 31: Global warming initiative: dress in Arab robes.

April 1: Rename Canada “Yeswecanada.”

April 2: Create joint U.S.-Europe currency: “baracko.”

April 3: Fellow celebrity Paris Hilton to head CIA.

April 4: Jon Voight, Hank Williams Jr. join McCain on ice floe.

April 5: Close Guantanamo.

April 6: Except for Rush Limbaugh.

April 6: Raise taxes again.

April 7: Redistribute remaining wealth.

April 8: National Pal-Around-With-Terrorists Day.

April 9: Socialize medicine.

April 10: Socialize everything else.

April 11: Cancel White House Easter Egg Roll.

April 12: Cancel Easter.

See:

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