Daily Archives: September 27, 2010

Please Abide By Public Restroom Rules

In the time of need, most appreciate the availability of a public restroom.  Especially if it is clean.

But for those who feel it is their duty to use a restroom for a lot of creative pranking and theatrics, there is a sign with several no-no’s in the language anyone can understand on the proper decorum around feces and urine.  

Some hints.  Aim closer; a laser spot or a Cheerio might help.  Turn around and stop feigning a visual handicap.  Your lame pee-dribbling act along your leg does not qualify as some incredible pee-kickin’ act, even in heels.  The pee’ers one-handed head stand doesn’t garner a 10 unless you score into the dish.  Don’t clog the bowl by uncorking a month-load of turds.  No doody snacking unless you squirt into the bowl.  Just because you forgot your brown crayon at home does not give you license to use dookie as your new medium, even for your favorite diagrams.  You obviously got stuck writing too many “I will not graffiti anymore” messages on the chalkboard at school.  Just because she is flipping you the bird, does not make dung flung in her general direction acceptable.  Dude, that is probably even more reason she isn’t interested in you.  And, no, it is not socially acceptable to have an asylum-like  party of brownie-smeared guests with accompanying toddlers, cheering and leaking all over the place, especially on the dog. 

“Public restroom rules.  Judging from the condition of the average public restroom, we apparently need to make it clear that the following behaviors are prohibited.”
Image courtesy of http://skyltat.se/nu-snackar-vi-toaregler/.